MEMOIR WRITING PROCESS- ‘Beautiful Bravery’

‘BEAUTIFUL BRAVERY’ ‘EVERY  MEMOIRIST I KNOW IS LIKE ON A DEATH MARCH THROUGH THEIR PAST”– Mary Karr, Memoirist A Memoir writer friend suggested  yesterday that I start writing about my Memoir Writing Process  itself and to share it. I love that idea so these are some excerpts from my journal on this subject of writing!  RAMBLINGS on ‘MY MEMOIR WRITING PROCESS‘ ‘Today I felt a bit terrified about being so vulnerable writing this Memoir. What is coming up next in my memoir is some very painful stuff. I wrote an OUTLINE for my Memoir and I try to write in order of that outline every week. I don’t always do it but it is my goal. Sometimes though it’s just not fun to write about certain subjects so i decide to skip over them and figure I’ll come back to that part later. (Like my upcoming chapter on my abusive  violent…

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POEM. ‘Haven’t cut my hair since Christmas’.

HAVEN’T CUT MY HAIR SINCE CHRISTMAS Havent cut my hair since Christmas and its now well into March my hairs now like Marge Simpsons a high pile of laundry…. starched! Its sorta fun, I like it to see how high it grows what style is it becoming who cares? and heck..Who knows? Recently though I was tempted to cut the whole thing off become a free bald woman not care if Id be scoffed. Whats with this hair obsession? Ive had it all my days Beauty shops they scared me Id leave all in a daze. ‘She DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME!’ She took WAY TOO MUCH OFF!’ I couldn’t bear to tell her I hated my new coif! So big hair vs baldness NO hair or.. down to THERE!? oh such a strange dilemma. My god…. ITS ONLY HAIR. (Id love you to JOIN MY MAILING LIST for upcoming poems, Memoir…

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TUESDAY TRUTHS- ‘Write a lot. Read a lot’.

TUESDAY TRUTHS ‘The only way to become a successful writer is to do just two things: ‘WRITE A LOT AND READ A LOT”–Stephen King I didn’t post my MONDAY MEMORIES blog post yesterday because honestly I was a bit under the weather with dreaded allergies and spent much of the day sneezing and blowing my nose. FUN! I did feel a wee bit guilty that I didn’t do my writing commitment for Monday, because Ive made this writing pledge (to MYSELF) to do it no matter what. I told Bob I actually missed it! I’ve become fond of my new writing habit  but hey that’s ok. Here are my  Tuesday thoughts. (Journal entry from today) ‘Today is Tuesday. I’ve got allergies. The spring trees are blooming quickly.  Proud pretty purple trees peppering the neighborhood with their aromas and arrogance. New bright white bulbed trees spreading their glory around with flair but that also means that  my…

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FRIDAY FREE FLOWING POEM

AT THE BOOKSTORE Billy Collins, Yates, Maya Angelou. They’re all sipping coffee with me as I sense their spirits leaping from their pages.. into my pen into my soul. Ive always loved bookstores sitting with hot drink pen, books piled high. I could learn anything here I am a poet sponge. Hours ….. go by and I am lost. I am lost now in Leonard Cohen and Robert Frost, Frances Evans , Shakespeare, minds tossed.. but in a good way Ive got a lot to say, now I want to say it. and I will. I want to come here again tomorrow and every day WHY? Because I feel a newness an aliveness All is well here and Im safe sipping coffee with unmade hair an air of exquisiteness…and other worldliness exudes  and then when I get home after being here all day mingling with the miriad of masters I open…

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FRIDAY Free Flow Poems

Back in January  when I was in a pretty deep confusion in my life, I let my pen fly. About 60  Dr. Suess- ish poems spewed out of my pen. Here are a few.  Same theme of confusion, restlessness and fatigue. REST Just want rest.. nothing more.. exhaustion.. to the core. Stop this world stop the train Give me sleep.. my frazzled brain. Please no questions no blank stares no more art talk to sell my wares. Too burned out to say a word this stories over this lifes absurd My zest has gone just wilted flowers cant speak,  cant think.. more restless hours. DIVING BOARD She’s standing on the diving board waiting poised and posed to jump in. She’d like someone to push her but not sure she can swim. RESTLESS AGAIN 5 am. Cat jumps im awake… restless again.. Mercury in retrograde? fidgety…. cold feet. Grab socks. curl on couch…

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MEMOIR Excerpt- ‘TAHOE PEACE’

(Continuation from ‘Imperial Palace’) ‘TAHOE PEACE’ AFTER THE  Imperial Palace half a song gig I finally got ‘released back out into the world. The contract ended. YIPPEE! I cleaned out my dressing room and walked out for the last time of the Imperial palace. It felt like I was a prisoner who had done my time with all my belongings piled in a backpack slung over my back and walking away. I never ever  wanted to go back or look back. It was a humbling time. So I had a wee bit of money left  but I  wasnt sure what I would do next or where I was heading. I knew I had to somehow do my original music though. It was my gnawing calling. I just had this need to prove to myself once again that I could be a viable performer/entertainer in my own right. Im not sure why that was so important to…

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The LEBANESE MAID

‘The Lebanese Maid’ Last Christmas Eve I was staying at the DoubleTree hotel in Skokie Illinois before my one night concert at the Skokie Theatre. I was going through some weird, yet oddly familiar  panic and anxiety before my concert. Pre show jitters some may call it. It was a mix between total torture and excitement. I felt very brave to go sing again. I was going back to live performances at age 54 after many years of not performing on stage.  I felt ambivalent before the show. Part of me was scared and panicky with thoughts like : ‘I hadn’t lost enough weight.’ ‘Will I be calm on stage?’ ‘Will I remember my lines and my banter in between the songs?’ ‘Will I figure out my staging, where to walk?’ etc. etc. I had just gotten over another concert in August where I tripped up . It was a pretty frustrating experience for me at a Cabaret club called Lannies Cabaret in…

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FRIDAY Free Flow Poem. ‘SHIT PILE’

Have you ever felt like the Universe was calling you ..to do something? This free flow poem flew out of me today while I was doing my morning writing.   ‘SHIT PILE’     ‘Hey You! the universe beckoned. ‘Come here. Im calling you!” . ‘Who me?   ‘Yep’. I need you to do something. Be extremely brave..   Walk to the edge.. Do it.’   ‘DO what?” I asked.   “Just listen to me.Im asking you to throw off all excuses and come with me!’   ‘Nah. Not interested. ‘Find a braver soul’.   ‘Nope. I choose you!!’’ the Universe summoned with an impatient tone.   ‘Take all your warped pain and turn it into   Beauty.   Turn it into something..   worthwhile.   ‘I know you can’. Thats why I’m choosing you’.   SO here’s your pile.   Your pile of…..   unfulfilled dreams.   Your pile…

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FRIDAY Free Flow poems- ‘ARE YOU GONNA SHOWER THIS WEEK?’

‘ARE YOU GONNA SHOWER THIS WEEK?’ Bob came home the other day, looked in on me in my art room and asked ‘Are you gonna shower this week?’ That’s always been our funny inside joke when he sees me enthralled with my creative energy. You creative people might know that feeling when you’re too enthralled by what your creating and dont want to stop to eat or pee or shower? Definitely not do your hair!! (oh btw, I havent had a haircut since Christmas.) Those creative wild days are nice. I used to make art feverishly— every day almost (for years and years). Getting new ideas would be so exciting to me. Being an artist, writer or any creative soul I think we sometimes live for new ideas! Lately though I have been in a bit of an art making lull. (Actually since my cat died early January) Since I started…

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TUESDAY THOUGHTS- “Leap and the net MIGHT appear.”

‘LEAP AND THE NET MIGHT APPEAR?’ ‘A calling comes when we embrace the pain, not avoid it‘.-Mary Karr Lately I have been ‘leaping out’ into my new writing life. I feel that I have been called to write, so I am doing it. NO guarantees. Its such new territory.  At times it feels like the scariest thing I’ve ever done, to be so vulnerable and to write out my truths, but I will keep doing it. Keep leaping. I used to make a lot of art with this quote on it. I sold quite a few pieces over the years (at art shows and at my gallery/studio.) Lately I have a new take on the meaning of  it. Instead of ‘Leap and the net will appear’, ‘Leap and the net MIGHT appear’ seems far more appropriate.  ‘Leap and the net MIGHT appear’? Sometimes when you leap (even with total faith that the net will be there) you…

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